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Tuesday, August 22, 2006 |
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My 2¢
I left a comment on another weblog and since have been asked if one of the examples in the comment I left has to do with me?
I answered that question with another question, “When have I ever had a woman worship the ground I walk on?”
Exactly!
So, no … none of the examples have to do with me. I guess I can see the resemblance of one of the examples, but no … it’s not me!
As far as having a woman worship the ground I walk on, that would be a total turn-off to someone like me. I would perceive a woman like that as too needy emotionally, mentally, and spiritually and that’s just not attractive.
I like a woman to be strong and confident emotionally, mentally, and spiritually. I don’t want a woman to view me as a solution (or distraction) to all her problems, but as a source of love, trust, and encouragement. I want her to know I’m someone that will stand with her while she resolves whatever conflicts she may encounter and that any resolution will come from within herself, not from without.
At the same time, I find it equally undesirable when a woman is just the opposite and won’t share anything with you. I find it extremely frustrating when a partner chooses to fight every battle on her own and won’t let you help in any way you can.
Not only is she hurting herself, but also the relationship. When your partner won’t let you help, it leaves you feeling distant, helpless, and not trusted. Feelings that aren’t exactly relationship nurturing.
The truth is, I have no room to talk. I’m so guilty of that! I’m really bad about keeping things to myself and internalizing everything and refusing any help from anyone.
If I ask myself why I’m that way, I come up with two reasons:
1. Pride. I don’t like to admit I can’t do something on my own and ask for help. It really hurts my pride and/or ego.
2. Trust. I don’t think I trust someone enough to stick with me, which is bad enough, but devastating after making yourself more vulnerable by opening up. Plus, it seems the only person you can truly count on is yourself.
Anyway, at least I have made attempts to be more open to accepting help and realizing I’m only human. I have to admit, it’s still really hard and I don’t like how it feels.
In the end, I don’t think it really matters because it seems like when you REALLY need help, no one is willing to help and you’re left on your own anyway.
Before I get too pessimistic, I just want to say that even though I find it unattractive when a woman has that attitude like she worships the ground her guy walks on, I’m still somewhat envious because I know that it’s not all based in low self-esteem.
I’ve found that a lot of it has to do with the fact that the woman really loves, trusts, cares for, and respects her man.
That’s all I want. I don’t want to be seen as perfect or put on a pedestal. I still want her to see me as the flawed person I am, but also see that I realize having her love helps make me a better person.
What’s sad is that it seems that women who feel that way usually end up feeling that way about someone that doesn’t deserve it. It’s like they see something special in someone once and won’t let it go until that person repeatedly hurts them and that becomes all that they can see.
And in that, I think that’s where it’s easy to see how low self-esteem plays a part.
I mean, I don't think it's emotionally or mentally healthy to view your partner as better than you.
Not only is it personally unhealthy to view your partner as anything more than an equal, but I don't think it's very healthy for the relationship either. You're just setting yourself up for a lot of disappointment.
It seems that when someone views his/her partner that way, it creates a lot of negative emotions. It leaves the person feeling not only lucky for having such a wonderful partner, but many times also not good enough, which causes possessiveness and lack of trust.
With that ... I'm out of here!
Posted by: Tester
Posted at: 11:43 PM
0 comment(s)
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